Top 10 Best Piss's of Your Life

Here on Lensdown St. we are huge fans of the top 10 list and here’s another. Top 10 best Piss’s of your life.

10.) First real piss, a legit mile stone here. It’s tough to elaborate more since most of us don’t remember. Congrats Champ you found the toilet. Pissing yourself sucked anyways.

9.) Good morning wood piss. The only piss to make the list that doesn’t involve a toilet. There’s nothing worse than trying to wrestle your wood down to take a badly needed piss in the A.M. Your dick just lived through 6 hours of porno dreams and while you don’t remember them he sure as shit does. That’s why this particular piss takes place in the shower. Yes, nothing sends Mr. Hardmorning on his way faster than a nice fountain esqe piss in the shower. Sweet relief.

8.) The ninja. This one is definitely better described with a story. My buddy Matty was walking into a Springsteen concert with us this last summer and it started pouring rain. Matty deiced to forgo the handy houses along the trail and simple piss in his denim shorts. Here’s the beauty my friends, no one fucking noticed! We were drenched and dripping rain. Matty was drenched and dripping rain as well, but with a shit eating grin and a warm set of boxer shorts.

7.) Your first drunk piss. Not after a beer or two but drunk. That one where you bounce back and fourth up the basement stairs of your buddies house to the pisser. You’ve been drinking nothing but peach schnapps and warm coronas you scabbed off his dad all afternoon, and now its time to make room for more. Most will tell you that alcohol dulls the senses, which is why you’re a champ in the sack after 7-23 beers, but this is different. Put your hand up on that wall and enjoy.

6.) The two week relief piss. Congratulations it’s been two weeks and it still doesn’t burn. Your spring break in Panama ended 14 days ago but you’ve been a little worried ever since. Sure she was prolly from “just Mexico” rather than New Mexico State and yes her nips were a tad dark for your liking. It’s the fact that her down town looked like the turkey left on the platter at the end of Thanksgiving dinner that worried you. No ill will here Rosaria thanks for the memories.


5.) Piss after explosive dump. This is one of those situations where the natural order of things gets reversed. Normally when you post up for a dump you take care of the piss up front to free up your hands for a news paper or Tetris on your cell phone. Not here buddy, you’ve waited to long for that type of leisure this is strictly a business venture. However, the piss after is one of the most relaxing you’ll ever take. It’s like getting back to the mess hall for a Steak Dinner after a knock down drag out fire fight on the streets of Fallujah.

4.) The Edward 40 hands piss. There is no doubt the ranking of this piss will be hotly disputed. Some dudes are into it and others aren’t. I myself can’t think of a hotter way to take a piss than with the hand of a nice young lady taking care of any manual labor involved.


3.) First Blow Job Piss. Not a lot to say here, this is a moment of accomplishment for you and your dick. Another classic hand on the wall piss, enjoy it together you earned it.

2.) First Big Boy Piss. So your dad brought you to a Sox game and you feel you’re ready to step up to the urinal instead of waiting for the stall like a pussy. This is a big moment and there’s a lot of urinal etiquette you need to learn real fast. Now let me qualify this by saying if you drop your pants to your ankles for this you clearly weren’t ready for the Big’s kid. I could write a whole different entry on these weirdo’s. Good luck guys, you have it a lot easier than those who learned to piss in the “troughs” at Fenway.

1.) First time you hit the cheese cake factory piss. There really wasn’t a lot of build up here I think most new this was coming. This is another moment for you and your member. Clearly a hand on the wall piss as well. This is one of the biggest moments of your life pal and in the seconds after the deed is done your first alone time to look in the mirror at the stud staring back. You fucked the shit out of her now take a piss and take a bow.



-The Bagel